Category: Family



Today would have been my brothers 65th birthday and he’s been on my mind all day. He had been in the hospital for a month before he died last year, but did that bitch say anything to me or my nephew, hell no. It was only after he died and was on his way to the oven that we found out. So there was no saying goodbye, no closure. At the wake, she had a table full of his stuff that she was giving away, the rest, including family heirlooms, she sent to auction without consulting anyone else in the family. Now before you say, well she was his wife after all, they had been seperated  for 2  years and were getting a divorce. She refused to allow either myself or my nephew even an ounce of his remains unless we paid her $1,600, so where he ended up at I don’t even know. She won’t even provide either one us with a copy of the will. So this weekend, is really playin with my mind.

We were 11 years &  5 days apart, so we would always find the most sarcastic birthday cards to send one another & call each other on our respective birthdays.  And when I turned 50 4 years ago, we got together and had a few.

Me and my brother out having a few drinks the night I turned 50. Jan. 28, 2012

Me and my brother out having a few drinks the night I turned 50. Jan. 28, 2012

It’s hard to heal when there is no place to grieve.

 

In other developments, I have cancelled the new website in favor of another web hosting company. A company that will allow a much better site overall. The downside is that it will be offline until the first week of Feb. In the meantime, I’m working on what might be called a “collectors set”, a set the would cover 4 rings, nickel, dime, quarter & half dollar. Hope to have the first set done by tonight.


Well, in order to raise the money for the rest of the tools, supplies and booth fees that come with doing shows. I just launched a go fund me campaign. I was going to wait another couple weeks but today is what would have been my mothers 89th birthday, and being that she taught me most of what I know about artwork, I figured it was only fitting to do it today.
 

Ever be having a good day and then look at the calendar and notice the date? Today would have been my mothers 89th birthday. Hadn’t noticed the date until a few minutes ago. It’s been just over 5 years since she passed, and I had forgotten that her birthday was coming up. Not only that, but my brothers birthday is coming up in 8 days, the first since he died last year. Then, 5 days after that will be mine and Catherines. She wants it at the bowling alley again. As for what I’ll do, shoot pool of course over at her godparents. In the meantime though, will launch the go fund me campaign today, what better day to do it, make a ring that tomorrow I will leave on my mothers grave. And then, get as shit faced drunk as possible.

 

20160113_033906-1  Thought I might use this in advertising.

 

IMG_20160115_003339Costa Rican 100 Colones size 12 1/2

 

20160113_033906-1A new Kennedy 50 cent ring


For the past two years, Number one daughter has been wanting me to take her to get a gun and teach her how to use it. Each time I talked her out of it. This afternoon, she called me and said to meet her at the local gun shop because she was bound and determined to get one. Well Chipmunk, who not only hates guns, hates that I own several and have taken Jacob shooting at times, went all out batshit crazy! Saying among other things that she would hold me personally responsible if I allowed Mae, who by the way will be 25 in 3 weeks, to buy a gun! And that I might as well shoot myself now because she would kill me if I allowed it and anything bad happened!

Now, I sure as hell ain’t about to shoot myself. And I did later talk to Mae and convince her to wait on buying a gun. But for Chipmunk to blame me for something that Mae wants to do, being that she is an adult, or to be so anti gun is to me illogical. For one thing, I have never told or encouraged Mae to go buy a gun. In fact its been the exact opposite. But I do know that she has been stalked an or harassed by her boyfriends ex. And I assume that that has something to do with it. So the way I see it, if she insists on buying one, then going with her to make sure that she gets one that’s best for her and teaching her the correct way to use it is far better than getting angry at buying one. Or am I wrong?


WIN_20150425_142044

 

Well, just had a words with the so called “Better” half. She closes tonight up at Wendys, for those that don’t know it, she’s an assistant manager. I assumed that I would drive her being that my cars brakes still need work so I could take Jacob to the soccer game that his teacher had organized for some of the kids as a reward. When she saw me getting dressed, the words were, “where do you think you’re going” and when I said about Jacob her response was simply “I don’t care.”   Seems that I’m to blame for everything, my car not being fixed yet, the washer not being fixed and the loss of the internet. Now, let me set things straight.

My car:

Although it is true that I stopped working on it for the time being, the reason is simple. I need a set of line wrenches that when I told her that, I was told tough luck. So, I have to wait until next week when I get my SSI check, a measly $248.00.

The washer:

Again, it comes down to money. I’m sure I know what part is screwed, but I cannot afford the part. I only get $248 a month, she gets almost $2,000! But it’s me that she expects to pay for a $100+ part!

The Internet:

Now this I do normally pay, and come next week, I will make a double payment to get it back on. Reason it wasn’t paid, because I had tried to use the auto pay at Menards to buy a propane cylinder, I tried 3 times and thought it was busted. I later found out that even though I never got it, it ended up charging me close to $150! When I asked her to pay it this month, she got pissed. And yet there have been times when she has asked me to pay something extra and I wasn’t being given a freaking choice about it.

What I can’t figure out is what the hell does she do with her money, which by the way is a forbidden subject. She doesn’t drink, smoke or do drugs. She doesn’t gamble. So just where is her money going??

I also admit that there are times when I just want to say “FUCK IT” and leave, but that’s what my oldman did to me and I’ll be damned if I do it to my own kids. That’s also why I’m so intent in bringing in more of my own money by way of my artwork. Maybe then, if and when I make as much if not more than she does, I can knock her off that high horse of hers and she’ll come to her senses.


An hour ago I received word that my brother, who had been battling cancer, had passed on to the other side. He had just turned 64 last month, 5 days before I turned 53. And with his passing, I now am the oldest of this branch of the family. We never had any sisters, and our only other brother, Jerry, died back in 86. Our father passed in 94 and our mother in 2010. Although we had a niece & a nephew, and me and Chipmunk have 4 kids of our own. He never had any. It feels very strange to realize that your now the oldest, I’ the one that was the hellraiser, I’m the one that was always either getting shot, stabbed, on some fool hair brained adventure somewhere or for that matter being pronounced dead, which I have been 3 times in my life. And although I value my wife and kids, I can’t help but feel alone with this news. News that I wouldn’t even know about had it not been for a facebook post that my nephew had posted tonight. I had no idea that he was even back in the hospital let alone had died because his bitch of an ex-wife never bothered to call me. And before anyone dares comment on that, we would have gotten along fine i she hadn’t commented about my getting married to a Filippina. Just because she’s a racist doe’s not give her the right to dictate how I live my life and I made it known. It never effected the relationship me and my brother had though for we wouldn’t allow it to. And I give a rats ass about any money he might or might not of had. I DO THOUGH want certain family heirlooms, the paintings that our father’s father had done, my mothers fathers little wagon that he had when he was a kid and the family photo’s that would mean jack shit to her.   And, being that I’m sure that he had made his final arrangements, if they are for cremation, I want his ashes. These things are NOT up to debate!

 

Me and my brother out having a few drinks the night I turned 50. Jan. 28, 2012

Me and my brother out having a few drinks the night I turned 50. Jan. 28, 2012

Never leave your ax lying around


I’ve been fighting a deep blue funk all week & what happened tonight didn’t help any. I had heard what sounded like one of the boys hammering in their room. Thing is that it didn’t sound right. so, I go in and find Jacob, the 8 yr old, taking my heart ax and chopping bits out of Michael’s bed!!. Needless to say I went fuckin ballistic. Juliet doesn’t as yet know being that she’s closing tonight and won’t be home til around 2.

The thing is when I asked him why, first he denied it, then when I proved that the ax fit the marks said nothing. I’ve never known him to do anything even remotely like this before, so why he would do this now I don’t know. Michael, who is 12 took it in stride which was surprising for if it had been me I would have beat the shit out of him. Instead, He went to bed without his dinner and is grounded until further notice. And my heart ax has been put away.


I just replied to another entry that a moron member of the GOP had commented on. In it he had basically called me a liberal, hippie, socialist. Now let me assure you that I am not now nor have I ever been a Socialist. I am though a liberal and proud of it. And I do support the OWS movement 100%. What really pisses me off is when these hypocrites condemn a person that is on welfare or foodstamps because it’s either that or allow their family to starve. Do some people play the system, yes. but the majority are on these programs not because they want to be but because they have no choice. These morons that run their mouths in condemning others call themselves “Good hardworking Christians.” And yet by turning their backs on those in need they spit in the face of the teachings of the man that they worship as God. And now, with the so called election season well under way, their propaganda machine is in full force spewing out nothing but Bull just because a half black, half white is in the white house. To me, this is simply being the lowest slime there is. For 3 years they have done their best to tear this country down, they have supported ideas that would strip people of their hard earned S.S. and medicare benefits, as well as wanting to take foodstamps from people that would mean that they would starve. They have supported throwing people including little old ladies out on the street all in the name of corp greed. And in doing so have turned their back on the very foundation of this country. Well I say enough. This cannot be allowed to continue. Vote these bastards that would take away our freedom and believe that corp are people out! Stand up for what is right, not what simply adds value to your stock portfolio.


Today would have been my mothers 85th birthday. And before it’s over I intend to have a beer and a shot in her honor. I’ve been wondering, do birthdays really matter when your dead? Think of it, being dead, your not gonna age anymore. In fact, it is said that a spirit can manifest to people at different ages. If that’s really true, then age is something that only the living worries about. And I sure that the dead would see it as just another “Fleshy” hangup. It is said that life itself is fleeting, in that the time we spend between when we’re born and when we die is short. So think of all the hang ups we have, our age, weight, looks, family etc. Just how many years of our lives do we go worrying about petty things in our lives. I sincerely doubt that the dead do the same thing.

Instead I gather that they have moved past all that wasteful thinking. And on to more concrete issues like how to prevent crypt rot or something. Or if your buried in Mexico or the Philippines, where to come up with your crypt rental.

The point is, don’t waste you life concerning yourself with stupid shit. Take care of what really matters for life is too short for anything else.


The greatest gift my wife ever gave me for my birthday was our youngest daughter. Catherine was born Jan. 28th 2005 on what was my 43rd birthday. In 20 days she will turn 7 and I’ll be an old man of 50. Although I am close to all the kids, it is Catherine and I that share a special bond between us. For years before she was even born I have dedicated my journal entries, I’ve kept one since 1979, to her. For I always knew that she would be born. In fact every major thing that has ever happened in my life I have long known would happen. That is why I feel that reincarnation is a myth. I do not think that we come back, but instead relive our own lives in hopes of getting it right, kinda like a do over. So deju vu is not that you were somewhere in a past life, but you are remembering that same moment from when you were there before and that you are re-living your life for some reason. It is after you get it right that you are allowed to move on to the spirit world.

Of course I realize that people will get pissed and take issue with what I just wrote. But can you prove it otherwise?

Anyway, I wish all those who share a birthday with someone they love well. I know that when the 28th comes around again this month me and Catherine will indeed feel that very special bond that only comes when you share your birthday with others.

Me & Catherine at T.O.P.A.S. this last night(01/07/12) when they celebrated the Jan. birthday people.